In My Life

This is a special entry dedicated to my student, my friend, my buddy, my brother, my family, my soul-mate - all embodied and existing in that one person. I am so blessed because of you, and I am special due to your unending remembrance of me in your prayers daily. I began many years ago because of you, and although you are not the best amongst others, you are already so special to me.

I was grateful to be able to see the world and places with you, although you may not remember much of them by now or even if you do, not as fondly as I remembered them spent with you - it matters less to me. The nights spent on tea, the movies and songs we shared, the relationship stories we exchanged, the words of comfort and encouragement, the support you rendered me when the world was unkind, my excessive scoldings, the appreciated silence, the listening ear, the mere physical presence, the "surprise" birthday parties, the maghribs at that mosque, the quarrels, the love - too many to list after such a long journey we spent together in our lives.

Moments like this made words difficult even to the most eloquent amongst us. And as we contemplate on the remaining days we have left together, I am reminded of the huge birthday card you made for me some years ago, inscribed with these words: "Your love and your teachings: we will carry them in our hearts forever wherever we go." And as I am loss for words in this most difficult entry, all I can muster to say is that similar "I will carry you in my heart forever wherever I go."

I have intended to write this entry for you before I leave for the US, but since tonight's incident, I think it may be more appropriate to do it now and I hope, in a strange way, it will cheer you up a little. There are two songs which I wish to share with you.

This first song struck me many moons ago when I watched For The Boys. It is a Beatles re-make of the song, entitled In My Life sung by Better Mitler. Whenever I read the lyrics, only you came to mind:



But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning,
When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I’ll never ever lose affection,
For people and things that went before.
I know I’ll often stop and think about them - but
In my life, I love you more.

Many years ago, I thought this second song, Answer sung by Sarah McLachlan, was meant for someone else. But the passage of time has put things in perspective and I realised that this song, instead is meant for you.



If it takes my whole life,
I won't break, I won't bend.
It will all be worth it,
Worth it in the end.

Cause I can only tell you what I know:
That I need you in my life.
When the stars have all gone out -
You'll still be burning so bright.

So my dear soul-mate, there is only my sincere and humble Thank You which I can extend to you. I will carry you in my heart, wherever I am.

I know that you will soar high up into the skies and your light will keep on burning ever so bright, even when other stars have all gone out. And when I am lost, I will look out for it to find my way back home.

"Funny how you an' him string along together"

... Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck