This would probably be the most difficult entry for me to make. My close first cousin left this world in a tragic accident yesterday.
I remembered being awoken at 3:30 am with my aunt's cries and sat there trying hard to digest and decipher the news. We rushed to the site of the accident and was met with a scene I never thought would happened to someone dear I know. My beloved cousin has passed away by the time we arrived - his familiar body still laying on that road - without any goodbyes, without any warnings.
When the policeman brought us to the small tent used to cover his body, I broke down even before I saw him. But, Alhamdulillah, it was a serene face that greeted me and I know that he is in a better place, Amin.
Everything thereafter was an emotional series of events - from both within me and from those around me. After I gave him my last kiss before he was totally shrouded, I was honoured to be able to do one more last thing for my beloved cousin: to lead the jenazah prayers. I broke down... and so did the congregation.
We used to do so many things together, spoke of so many things that only both of us shared. We had many secrets together that no one will know - and now, no one will ever know. I was never 'lonely' with him around.
And now, although I am left without, I know his love within. And today, as I watched the sun go down, watching the world fade away, the memories of him come rushing back to me one by one.
I can't have those secrets with him anymore, I can't hang out with him at Starbucks either, I can't have that 4 hours weekend lunch with him now. And then, I can't scold him about riding too fast or about him smoking, nor can I 'beat' him up for sleeping at all those movies that we watched together. I can't have him cook for me anymore nor can I hear his jokes as often as he always did. I can't hear the whisperings of the new 'friend' he is seeing at the moment nor can I see his excitement of introducing me to his new 'friend' for my validation, nor can I hear of his laments and of his dreams...
We were close, very close... And so this loss is painful to my heart. There is now this sudden void left behind...
His beautiful soul left me at a tender age of only 26 years old. There was so much that he wanted to do with his life and I was going to be there with him by his side. He was, after all, my buddy in our family. It was to be a beautiful life ahead of him...
And now, he is no more...
And I am left wandering with so many questions left unanswered of that fateful morning...
How does one write an entry of this nature? How do I even begin to express the emotional chaos of loosing someone whom I love? I am left awake in the wee hours of this morning trying to grapple with those feelings, and I supposed for many mornings thereafter.
I can't even begin to remember what we did together and what was said over all those years. In my lapsing memory, I am trying to sort those things out and have it rest in peace within me. I pray that those memories will not fade away.
But I know that The Almighty has a better plan for him, and I am heartened and grateful for that. I will keep the memories of you, my dearest cousin, and will always keep you in my prayers. You will always live in my heart, insya-Allah.
There will indeed be many beautiful memories of him to last me by. And whenever I close my eyes and see the sky, there will always be visions of him. For the many other lives whom he has touched and left behind a smile, he will always remain in their hearts.
My heart is achingly missing him...
It won't be long too, that I will be gone from this world. And I look forward to meeting him again.
I remembered him just like yesterday. It is not easy to embrace the fact that he is now gone. But until I am with him, I will carry on...
My dear friends, let's join me in reciting Al-Fatihah... May my beloved cousin rest in peace and tranquility, at a better home with his Lord.
Amin.
For A Friend - The Communards
Gone Without Goodbye - Brian Littrell
22 comments:
my deepest condolences to u n ur family... I know how it feels to lose someone so dear... I know in moments such as this, no words could help to ease your pain and longing for him, but just remember Rumi's poem u ever gave me for the demiss of my mak:
"The beloved you've lost
The one you've been seeking outside
Can only be found inside"
"He will live in u forever..."
May he rest in peace... Amin
Hang On there Dear Sir, In times like these words mean little...but it can bring little comfort at least.
InsyaAllah he will be in good hands. We'll pray for him and everyone.
Al-Fatihah
Inallilahi wa inallilahi raji'un.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Whilst it is always tough to lose a loved one, it is really in times like these where things are put in perspective for us.
Coincidentally, just yesterday afternoon, as i was walking towards Serangoon Road (I had a craving for Sri Kamala Villas Tosai)I saw one of those blue police tents on the road - a bus had knocked a pedestrian down. I later found out from the news that a nepalese student had been knocked down. At that time I was wondering to myself who had been knocked down, whether it was a foreigner and how the news would be broken to his/her family back home.
Although I do not know the person, seeing a dead body on the road always makes me feel sad and the first thoughts which come to mind are how his family at home would receive the news.
Your cousin indeed is blessed to have a loving family who will always have him in their thoughts and pray for him (especially having a close cousin like you).
Al fatiha.
What a lovely tribute to your cousin that in your faith and affection, you honor his memory with song and heartfelt words. Will be praying for you and your family (especially your aunt) from Brooklyn, New York, USA. Patti
Coincidentally, the lyrics of the Chris Daughtry song "Home" (made popular in American Idol) has been playing in my head rather often recently:
"I'm going home
To the place where I belong
Where your love has always been good enough for me"
Inallilahi wa inallilahi raji'un.
These words mean little but I hope it can bring some kind of comfort to you, Dear Hoopoe.
"The flower fades, but its fragrance lingers in the hearts of all those who touched it"
My deepest condolences to you and your family, sir.
Our prayers go to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this news with all of us as it also serves as a reminder to all of us.
Al-Fatihah.
Salam Hoopoe,
My Al-Fatiha for him. May he rest in peace at home with HIM. You take care. :-)
Salaam,
Your cousin is so Blessed to have someone like you love him so much and even pray for him. Such a moving tribute.
May Allah s.w.t. grant His Bounty of Patience and Perseverance to you and his family. Ameen.
Al-Fateha.....
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers - and am moved by such kindness from people far away whom I've yet to meet.
When it is our turn to return to Him, we will also need such prayers for ourselves.
Only God may reward your kind thoughtful deeds abundantly, Amin.
When the words I had spoken or shared in class before were reminded to me, I am grateful those words were not wasted - and it gives me personal solace when it is my time to wait for Judgment Day in my own grave - may Allah give me those benefit while I am in my grave. Amin.
May this incident also remind us of how vulnerable our existence is and to remain steadfast in the Path towards Him, and to value each person sent by God to pass by our lives - albeit for a short time.
We can never know when our turn to be called up by Him will arrive, so we must always support each other to be the best that we can be today - as a human being irrespective of faith - for we cannot serve God if we do not serve Man well. And may that 'best' that we offer puts us in His Pleasure, always.
Humbly thanking everyone...
Salaam,
Difficult for me to put down words, especially after reading what your heart tells about your cousin... you must be strong and believe in his soul being with you until you meet him again whenever the time is right and comes, so that his time in the heaven is not in vain...
I would like to suggest you to listen to the song "Shine Your Light" of Robbie Robertson from the movie soundtrack of "Ladder 49" which you may have watched with him... the lyrics in my view would suit better the way I would like to express my condolences, sympathy and encouragement to you...
... so far and so close between you and him, nevertheless, such a complicity can and will only keep you going strong(er)... because he will shine your light and life while he rests in peace with Him...
Kaluinna Lillah Hirajiun...
Al-Fatihah...
iefuM
Ustaz...my condolences to you and your whole family.
As I read your words, the depth of the emotions towards a loved one really touches me.
In my work I have met many of those who have loved and lost; words can't describe the pain and bereavement of the loss.
InsyaAllah, all do'as of your family's, yourself and fellow Muslims will accompany your late cousin in his journey to a better place.
Al-Fatehah for your late cousin.
May the memories of your good times together continue to gives you the strength to move on in your journey.
salam takziah to you and family. May Allah place your cousin among those He love...
Dear Hoopoe,
All that I would like to say to you have been said by the rest.
If I could, I would give you a drop of the morning dew to ease your aching heart longing for your beloved cousin.
His had his steps in his path, and so do you and the rest of us.
May Allah forgives him and showers him with blessings. And may He bless you too for the sincere love and care you had for him.
my deepest condolences..
take care Ustaz!
Salam...
Inallilahi wa inallilahi raji'un.
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Al-Fatehah
Thank you dear friends for your prayers and kind words.
May The Almighty reward you for your compassion and kindness you have showered to us.
Amin.
Dear Ustd, My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
I lost a friend on the 6th of July and I am only coming out of the shock still so I nderstand where you are right now.
May Allah give you the strength of faith to copy with your loss.
Amin
Labake
Labake,
Hope you are coping well with the demise of your friend. May Allah gives you strength and may He forgives your friend and put him/her in an honoured place.
Amin.
Send our warmest salams to you and your friends in Nigeria.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Hope you are coping well.
And that sudden burst of memories... always happen, even after a long time. At least, that somehow keeps us alive, deep within.
Take care.
Thanks ezee for your kind thoughts and prayers.
All the best for your last semester Down Under :)
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