California

California, here we come...

The Brothers Karamazov

"Men reject their prophets and slay them, but they love their martyrs and honor those they have slain"

"It is not as a child that I believe and confess Jesus Christ. My hosanna is born of a furnace of doubt"

"Beauty is a terrible and awful thing! It is terrible because it has not been fathomed, for God sets us nothing but riddles. Here the boundaries meet and all contradictions exist side by side"

"Imagine that you are creating a fabric of human destiny with the object of making men happy in the end ... but that it was essential and inevitable to torture to death only one tiny creature ... And to found that edifice on its unavenged tears: would you consent to be the architect on those conditions? Tell me, and tell me the truth!"

... The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky

Once In Your Life Doubt, As Far As Possible, All Things

"If you would be a real seeker after truth, you must at least once in your life doubt, as far as possible, all things."

"But immediately upon this I observed that, whilst I thus wished to think that all was false, it was absolutely necessary that I, who thus thought, should be somewhat; and as I observed that this truth, I think, therefore I am, was so certain and of such evidence that no ground of doubt, however extravagant, could be alleged by the sceptics capable of shaking it, I concluded that I might, without scruple, accept it as the first principle of the philosophy of which I was in search."

... Discourse On The Method, René Descartes

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters."

"They lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn."

"True happiness is to understand our duties toward God and man; to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence on the future; not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears, but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is abundantly sufficient." 

"It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to use for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realise that it has passed away before we knew it was passing."

"The final hour when we cease to exist does not itself bring death; it merely of itself completes the death-process. We reach death at that moment, but we have been a long time on the way." 

... On The Shortness Of Life, Lucius A Seneca

Writing

I write;

You read.

If you finish before I do,

Please let me know.

How Well I Could Write If I Were Not Here

"How well I could write if I were not here! 

If between the white page and the writing of words and stories that take shape and disappear without anyone's ever writing them, there were not interposed that uncomfortable partition which is my person!"

... If On A Winter's Night A Traveler, Italo Calvino

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter I. 

I walk down the street.

There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost ... I am helpless;

it isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II. 

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place;

but it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III. 

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in ... it's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter IV. 

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter V. 

I walk down a different street.

... Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, Portia Nelson

Drifting Further Away

We Choose Love, We Choose Life

"We enter the world alone, and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between? We owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help. We need support. Otherwise we're in it by ourselves. Strangers. Cut off from each other. And we forget, just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love. We choose life. And for a moment, we feel just a little bit less alone."

... Season 5, Grey's Anatomy

To Be, Or Not To Be

To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream:

... Hamlet, William Shakespeare

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

"O great star! 

What would your happiness be had you not those for whom you shine?"

... Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Friedrich Nietzsche

Ecce Homo

"The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends."

"One must pay dearly for immortality; one has to die several times while still alive."

... Ecce Homo: How One Becomes What One Is, Friedrich Nietzsche

Grey's Anatomy

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross." 

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is that its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important "happy ever after", just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying." 

"There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more."

"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."

"No-one likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. And it's scary as hell. Except there's an upside to freefalling. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you."

"At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."

What If You

I wonder if you'd miss me

When I'm gone

It's come to this, release me

I'll leave before the dawn

What if you

Could hear this song

What if I

Felt like I belong

So, for tonight

I'll stay here with you

Yes, for tonight

I'll lay here with you

Cold Mountain

Dear Mr. Inman, 

I began by counting the days, then the months. I don't count on anything anymore except the hope that you will return, and the silent fear that in the years since we saw each other, this war, this awful war, will have changed us both beyond all reckoning. 

Watch Over Me

Hallelujah

All The Precious Words

all the precious words 

you and I have exchanged 

have found their way 

into the heart of the universe. 

one day they'll pour on us 

like whispering rain 

helping us arise 

from our roots again

... Rubaiyat, Mevlana Rumi

The Ins And Outs Of This Life

i asked my mentor 

in our happy hours 

the ins and outs of this life 

and far beyond; 

he said 

your salvation is on the way 

when you try to take 

people's pain away

... Rubaiyat, Mevlana Rumi

300

"Remember us." As simple an order as a king can give. "Remember why we died." For he did not wish tribute, nor song, nor monuments nor poems of war and valor. His wish was simple. "Remember us," he said to me. 

That was his hope, should any free soul come across that place, in all the countless centuries yet to be. May all our voices whisper to you from the ageless stones, "Go tell the Spartans, passerby, that here by Spartan law, we lie." 

I Saw You Dancing Last Night

I saw you dancing last night

on the roof of your house

all alone.

I felt your heart longing for the Friend.

I saw you whirling

beneath the soft bright rose

that hung from an invisible stem in the sky.

So I began to change into my best clothes

in hopes of joining you,

even though I live a thousand miles away.

And if you had spun like an immaculate sphere

just two more times,

then bowed again so sweetly to the east,

you would have found God and me

standing so near

and lifting you into our arms.

...Hāfez-e Šīrāzī

Prelude In E Minor

Clair de Lune

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

1st soldier: Who goes there?

King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!

1st soldier: Pull the other one!

King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.

1st soldier: What? Ridden on a horse?

King Arthur: Yes!

1st soldier: You're using coconuts!

King Arthur: What?

1st soldier: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.

King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...

1st soldier: Where'd you get the coconuts?

King Arthur: We found them.

1st soldier: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!

King Arthur: What do you mean?

1st soldier: Well, this is a temperate zone

King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?

1st soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.

1st soldier: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!

1st soldier: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?

1st soldier: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

King Arthur: Please!

1st soldier: Am I right?

King Arthur: I'm not interested! 

Second Swallow-Savvy Guard: It could be carried by an African swallow. 

King Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot? 

1st soldier: Oh yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point. 

Second Swallow-Savvy Guard: But then the African swallow's not migratory...

Milk

"Without hope, the us's give up - I know you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. So you, and you, and you... You gotta give em' hope... you gotta give em' hope."

Flightless Bird, American Mouth

"I dream about being with you, forever"

"Forever? And you are ready right now?"

"Yes..."

"Is it not enough just to have a long and happy life with me?"

"Yeah, for now..."

... Twilight